I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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