Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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