Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
