You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
