Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
