it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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