For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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