AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
