I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
