did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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