You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
