I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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