her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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