Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
