Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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