Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
