Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
