The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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