I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
