Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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