pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
