**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
