is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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