I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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