Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just blew my weed a kiss
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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