remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
