See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
