it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
