I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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