So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
