What did we do last night that was yellow?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
