I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
