I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
