If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
