so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
