i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i now understand why vodka
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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