Sry I called you an 8
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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