i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
