This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
