your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
