I want to have your abortion
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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