don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
