another moral hangover. fuck.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
