have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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