i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
