What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
