dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
