I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
