His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
