Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
